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 Introduction: Happy Father's Day, or as I like to refer to it, “Oh Yeah Day”. I call it that because first there was Mothers' Day, and then someone said, “Oh yeah. We need a Father's Day”. I think it was someone in the greeting card industry, or maybe the necktie industry, which I don't like anyway. They were trying to figure out what to do with ugly ties and someone said, “I know let's make a special day when people who don't have to wear ties come on here and buy ties for dads who have to wear ties. And when they come in we will sell them all the ugly ties.” Thus began a Father's Day tradition.
Seriously, Happy Father's Day. Dads, we love you and honor you today. You deserve it. Moms have to do most of the work. They have the greatest role in teaching children. They get the most attention on their day, and the “Hi Moms” on TV. But you are responsible for how your kids view God. Most of the hang ups we ministry to have to do with relationships with dads.
We have been looking at some miracles found in the book of Acts. After Pentecost the life of the early Church was characterized by the ministry of the Holy Spirit. We have read of miracles, healing, divine appointments and angelic visitations… Much of the Spirit's ministry is quite spectacular.
Today I want to depart from our look at the miracles of Acts and look at another facet of the Holy Spirit's ministry, which is particularly relevant to us today – Father's Day. Please open your Bibles to Ephesians chapter five.
The book of Ephesians is an encouraging book. The church in Ephesus held a special place in Paul's heart. It was there that he met a group of converts unfamiliar with the Holy Spirit's ministry, and led them to a more full understanding of the Spirit's power.
He wrote to them of God's great plan for them, and that it was greater than they might imagine. He rejoiced at the change that God had made in their lives, and wondered at the mystery of the Church, where Jew and Gentile became one. He spoke of equipping for ministry, and encouraged the Ephesians to continue on into maturity in the Lord.
In chapter five and six he write of relationships among Christians, and how they reflect the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Let's read…
15 Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead , be filled with the Spirit.
He directs them not to allow other things to control them (alcohol, drugs, addictions would apply) but instead to be filled with the Holy Spirit, and led by Him. What follows is what a life looks like that is being filed with the Holy Spirit.
19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
 A life led with the Spirit is characterized by worship and gratitude. People who are being filled with the Sprit want to worship God. They want to worship God with other people. They express their praise to God – toward other people, “Praise the Lord!”
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
A life led by the Spirit is characterized by subjection to others
That means putting others first and not having to have your way all the time.
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Uh oh, now it is starting to get personal. But don't worry ladies. It's not Mother's day, so you're off the hook. These verses are often taken out of context anyway. Remember, Paul is writing about how to submit to one another, not about women being inferior to men, or about all women submitting all men.
But since we are here, He is talking about wives respecting their husbands. Respect is among the greatest needs of any man. Husbands need their wife's respect more that just about anything else. This would make a great text for a mother's day sermon, but today is Father's Day! So let's move on…
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church -- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Today is a day to honor fathers. It is a day to say “thank you” to our dads, living or not, for all they have done for us. It is also a day to be challenged as men to be all that God has called us to be, as fathers and as husbands.
Paul goes on to say, 6:4 “ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
A man who is filled with the Holy Spirit will be identified by the way he treats others, especially his wife and children
Remember Mission Impossible ? I'm not talking about the Tom Cruise version. I'm talking about the old one, where Mr. Phelps (Peter Graves) was still a good guy. “Your mission Mr. Phelps, should you choose to accept it…” – and then the tape would burn up. Well men, you have a mission. It comes from God. It isn't impossible, and you don't really have a choice about whether or not you are going to accept it.
Your mission is to love your wife (and I might add – your kids) as much as Jesus loves you.
Some of you are thinking, “I thought you said my mission wasn't impossible.” It's not, because the Holy Spirit, who lives inside of you, is committed to loving your wife through you.
Others may think, “You don't know my wife.” Well, the Lord does. He also knows you – and everybody else in His Church. And He tells husbands that we are to love our wives as Christ loves the Church. How does Jesus love the Church? Does His love for the Church change depending on how the church is acting that day? Let me make it easy for you – does His love for you change depending on how you are acting that day? The answer is no. And you are part of the church.
God wants us as husbands and fathers to demonstrate His kind of love, regardless of whether or not it is easy.
Let's look at our mission…
 Loving our wives as Christ loves the Church requires sacrifice.
Jesus is our standard. He saw our need and paid the price to meet it. He didn't have to. We don't deserve it. We don't always appreciate all that He has done. But He loves us anyway, and he gave Himself up for us because He loves us.
A lot of guys read this text and get all macho – “Yeah, I'd take a bullet for my wife!” That's easy, compared to denying some of your desires for the sake of your wife. It is easier to die for someone than it is to live sacrificially for them. It is easier to jump in front of a truck than to give up something we want for something she wants, or needs.
Our standard for loving our wives is not our willingness to be macho and take a bullet, it is our willingness to become a servant, and wear a towel (like Jesus when He washed the disciples' feet.
 Loving our wives as Christ loves the Church requires that we learn her needs and make a point of meeting them.
Jesus knew we needed to be cleansed, so He took it upon Himself to cleanse us. He did so with His blood, and He also does so with His word.
Our wives need the ministry of our words. They don't need our criticism. They don't need for us to tell them what to do. They need our words to bathe them with love.
You will benefit from this kind of ministry guys. Jesus cleanses us in order to present us to Himself without spot or wrinkle. You can't remove spots or prevent wrinkles, but your loving words, your sacrificial love, will make your wife a better woman. Her respect for you will increase with your love for her.
I can tell a lot about a guy by observing his wife. It is easy to tell if she feels loved, honored, esteemed… It is also easy to see if he has her serving him, instead of the other way around.
 Our love for our wives (and children) should be based on a healthy love for ourselves.
Sometimes our inability to love our wives is based on self hatred. Many men are secretly angry with themselves, because they are not happy with how they have turned out. They are not sure that they are all they are supposed to be. Some are still trying to live up to a standard set by their own fathers. And that self hatred makes it difficult to love others, even their wives and children, unconditionally.
This is one reason why The Father's Embrace is so important. Our ability to love others is directly tied to how much we feel loved by God. I'm not talking about a theological understanding of love. I'm talking about an experience of receiving and accepting the Father's love. GET THE TAPES…
I have been talking a lot about evangelism recently. That is because it is all over the New Testament. But loving others is a higher command than sharing the Gospel. I knew a guy in seminary that studied the Bible all the time. He loved to teach. He loved to talk about Jesus. But He didn't spend much time with his wife and kids. He wasn't a bad guy, but his priorities were really out of whack.
Loving ourselves is necessary because we can't love others – even our wives, without first loving ourselves. A healthy self love (not narcissism) is based on receiving God's love for us.
 Love and respect are the foundations for a home that reflects Jesus.
Paul wraps up this admonition regarding husbands and wives with these words, 32 “This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Paul says, “I admit I am being theological here, but listen, every husband should make it his mission to love his wife, and every wife should make it her mission to love her husband.”
By the way…
I haven't spent much time at all on Ephesians 6:4, “ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
That is because frankly, a man who loves his wife is much more capable of truly loving his children. But I should point out that dads, the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives is also shown by how we treat our children. Being a tyrant does not demonstrate the presence of God at all. Training them and instructing them demonstrates God's presence, and it takes time. The thing so many kids lack is time with their dads. Give them time, and teach them what god is teaching you, even if it doesn't seem like they are listening.
I wish I had time for “Children obey your parents” (Ephesians 6:1), but that will have to wait. It does say you will live longer if you do. You might want to look that one up and read it yourself.
Conclusion: Dads, we do honor you. No one has ever said that your job is easy. As husbands and as Dads you represent God to others in ways no one can fully comprehend. The good news is that when you submit yourself daily to the Holy Spirit's filling He comes to give you the ability to do that.
God is into making you the best husband and dad you can possibly be. He is so into it that He doesn't just give you commands to make it happen. He gives you His Spirit to enable it to happen in your life. I close by going back to Ephesians 5:18 – Don't let other things control you. Let the Spirit of God control you. And the result will be that you will be a great husband and dad, and others will see God in you. |
